Life can force you to rebuild your life and make you have to start all over again. I found myself at a crossroads only a year and a half ago when my second marriage broke down.
After eighteen years of being someone’s wife, (10 years in my first marriage, 6 months of being alone to 8 years with my second husband), I found myself lost, alone and a single mother to six children.
The fear of being on my own and how I was going to cope alone could have paralyzed me, it would have been so easy to have fallen into a deep depression.
It was my decision to end the marriage, I was unhappy in my relationship and the cracks were just too big to cover up.
I had to use this opportunity to make an exciting and healthier life for myself and the children.
You can rebuild your life and start all over again, I did
It was not easy to start all over again, when you are part of a couple you can delegate tasks and responsibilities, you have someone to bounce ideas off and you have help and support.
I found myself alone making life changing decisions.
But it was time to stand on my own two feet.
I shed tears, I lost sleep and I questioned if I had made the right choices but as each new day passed I began to feel as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
I gained a newfound confidence in my abilities as a mother and I became more independent.
This was a new start for me.
Taking each day at a time I muddled my way through until a point where I looked forward to making new challenges for myself.
It Takes Time
Rebuilding your life and starting all over is not easy, it can be frightening and lonely but it will also be the best thing you have ever achieved.
You need to draw upon your inner strength and the fight within you will overcome the fears.
It was difficult to accept that it would all take time, I am not a patient person and want everything to happen there and then, but Rome wasn’t built in a day.
I allowed myself time, I challenged the negative thoughts and set myself goals.
Starting all over and rebuilding your life takes times and dedication.“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time.
Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ”– M. Scott Peck
Change Is Good
Everything around us changes, just as the seasons and the weather, there are some situations that you can not change. You can not change what others say or do to you but you can change how you react to it.
Welcome change into your life and welcome new chances to learn and to grow from these experiences, good or bad.
Change is difficult because our brains are used to repeating the same thing, over and over again.
It is good for your growth and understanding of yourself if you push yourself out of your comfort zones.
I learned new things about myself, how I was able to cope under extreme pressure and face new challenges.
I experienced new things and these allowed me to grow as a person and also I gained a deeper understanding about not only myself but about the things that were happening in my life.
Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.
Acceptance Is Power
Your life is what it is, starting all over again and rebuilding your life is only possible if you accept what it is now and you have a clear understanding of what it is you want to change.
No matter how much you want your life to change, you have to make that happen.
Take responsibility for your life and own happiness.
Why do you want to start all over again and rebuild your life?
What changes are you going to make to ensure you don’t fall back into the same trap?
Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change. – Shannon L. Alder
Be Grateful For What You Do Have
I was a very negative person, I was always looking at what was wrong with myself and with my life that I forgot to be grateful for what I did actually have.
Once I stopped looking at the negatives and focuses on the positives I noticed a huge difference with my motivation and mood.
I was a single mother with two failed marriages under my belt, that much was true, but I also had six beautiful and healthy children from those marriages, that’s what was important.
I had become single for the first time in eighteen years, but that was the choice I had made, dwelling on it changed nothing.
Instead, I became grateful for the happy times and the memories shared, we also remain friends, we had been through too much together to cut all ties.
If you need something to be grateful for check your pulse, because you’re alive, your still breathing which means you have the power to change anything you want to.
If your life is not how you want it to be then now is the time to make those changes.
There is no such thing as the right time, the right time to make your life more fulfilled is now, be grateful that you have that time.
The world has enough beautiful mountains and meadows, spectacular skies and serene lakes. It has enough lush forests, flowered fields, and sandy beaches. It has plenty of stars and the promise of a new sunrise and sunset every day. What the world needs more of is people to appreciate and enjoy it.” Michael Josephson
Fake It Till You Make It
What type of life do you want to be living?
Know what it is then live it.
Stop waiting for things to change, those things take time.
If you want to to be more confident then fake it, pretend that you are, engage in more social activities and act like your the person you wish you could be.
Use visual aids where you can, these help me tremendously.
I want to change my living room decor but am put off because of the time, disruption and cost.
There is always another bill to pay, I think I don’t have time, I will start it next month.
So I sourced online for the colours, wallpaper, furniture and fabrics I wanted to make my dream living room and printed them out.
I then stuck them all together to make a visual board of my dream living room.
This has inspired me to budget and save a little each week and at the end of three months, I will have enough to purchase it all.
You can use this in every aspect of your life.
If you can see it then you can achieve it.
Start living the life you want to live.
Let It Go
Trying not to burst into song but just let it go.
The past is the past, leave it there but learn from it.
Stop making excuses for why you can not do something.
Fighting life is draining, things happen for a reason.
You do not have to invite yourself to the argument.
Is it really worth the blood, sweat, and tears?
If it’s not then let it go.
Is it something that will still matter to you in 3 years time?
If it isn’t then let it go.
There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go –Jessica Hatchigan
Believe In Yourself
Only you know what you want out of life.
Trust in your abilities and have confidence in yourself, you can do anything that you put your mind too.
But also stay true to yourself, you need to live your own life for you, not for others.
Listen to that inner voice, trust your instincts.
Do not allow others to prevent you from reaching your dreams and full potential.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. – Oscar Wilde
You have the power to rebuild your life and start all over again, the only person standing in your way is YOU.
If you could start your life over again what one thing would you change about yourself or your life?