Whether it’s to buy those 6-inch heels or that dress with the sparkly brooch, we all have to make decisions.
Many adults find it difficult taking responsibility for their actions, why is that?
Why is making choices and the right decisions so difficult?
And when things go wrong, why don’t we accept we are to blame?
Making the choice of whether to apply for a new job, to expand the family and have a new baby or even to buy a house, some choices are more important than others.
If you’re a risk taker then deciding might not take so long, but for those more practical, these type of decisions may take sometimes.
Our parents took away those important decision-making challenges from us when we were younger. They choose where we lived, which school we attended.
All those important life-changing experiences were not for us to control.
We had others taking responsibility for us.
That does not automatically mean that we agreed with all the choices they made for us, but we are safe in the knowledge that if things went wrong, it wasn’t our fault, it was theirs.
As we reach adulthood we are suddenly flung into the lion’s den, we don’t have anyone to rely on anymore, nobody to make those important decisions for us.
We become scared of changes and we have to start standing on our own two feet and making decisions for ourselves.
Taking responsibility for your own actions can be quite scary
If we screw up, it’s our own fault.
I have met so many people who are still stuck in a cycle of blaming others, never holding their hands up, always looking for a scapegoat.
Nothing is ever their fault, it was always someone else.
Have you ever been on the end of someone’s blame? It’s never a nice feeling.
When young children are forever criticized and made to feel bad for making minor mistakes as a child and never given the chance to explain grow to fear of accepting responsibility in adulthood.
They have learned that taking responsibility only results in anger and ill feelings from others.
We need to allow our children to make choices where appropriate and to make mistakes, as this is how children learn.
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. – Albert Einstein
We all have tendencies to blame others:
You can’t get a decent job because you didn’t do well at school as the teachers never helped you enough
You will never find Mr Right because your ex-cheated on you with the girl next door.
You cannot be happy because your fat, you’re ugly you’re in debt
There is always blame ….
It’s time you started taking responsibility for your own life and realize that you are the one in the driver’s seat.
“A sign of wisdom and maturity is when you come to terms with the realization that your decisions cause your rewards and consequences. You are responsible for your life, and your ultimate success depends on the choices you make.” – Denis Waitley.
OK, so there are some things that are not in our control. I am Bipolar and although I cannot make this go away, I have taken the responsibility to learn all I can about this illness, to enable me to live a fulfilled life.
I cannot change it, but I can make it easier to live with by taking my medication, by attending therapy and ask when help when I need it.
You can never expect the view to change if you keep looking out of the same window…
So many women moan that they are unhappy with their relationships, yet when I ask why they stay, I get the same excuse time and time again:
- I am scared to lose the security
- I can’t cope without him
- I cannot afford to leave him
- I don’t want to be alone
These are all excuses if you are truly unhappy and you have worked at your relationship and know leaving would make you happier, then taking responsibility for your own happiness is a must.
Somewhere deep inside we know what changes need to be made, we are just afraid to make them.
Instead of saying “I really should” we need to be saying “I am going to”.
If you’re not going to run your own life, then someone else is going to do that for you and you may just be left to get on with whatever they decide to throw at you.
But do you then have the right to moan about it?
Whose fault would it be?
Get out there and make those changes you need to make.
Do you shy away from taking responsibility?