We can not control what others say or do to us, but we can control how we react and let it affect our lives. I have spent many nights tossing and turning, worrying and stressing about how others perceive me.
Struggling to feel that I fit in
Afraid I was not good enough
Feeling like a disappointment
What could I do to change?
How could I make people like me?
I have spent many years in therapy, undergone life-transforming changes along the road of my journey in understanding and finally accepting who I am.
I have learned so much and I am somewhat saddened at the many years I have wasted stuck in a negative mindset, consumed by fear of what others had done and said to me.
I learned a valuable lesson along the way.
We can not control what others say or do to us
I was not in control of what people said or did to me but I was in control of how I dealt with their actions and words. I had allowed them to continue to torment and torture me because I had such low self-confidence and self-esteem.
Long after their words were inflicted upon me, they still ran cold through my blood, pulsated in my veins, flooding my body and mind with their poison. It was easier to believe them than fight the thoughts and fears raging through me.
The problem is what others say about you is not always true, those who purposely say or do things to hurt you are really showing their own flaws.
Remember, what you say about others, says a whole lot about YOU!
Bullies make things up about you or exaggerate upon some truth, using our weaknesses to hurt us further, seeking power, they can only make themselves look good by belittling someone else.
Actually, they are pathetic, insecure individuals. I didn’t deserve what happened to me. The words they said were hurtful yet untrue but I allowed them to damage me, instead of reminding myself that they were liars and obviously had deep seeded issues with themselves I allowed myself to believe them.
I could have avoided many years of anguish had I have accepted they were bullies and perpetrators of abuse. If they said these things there must be some truth in it.
I could have avoided many years of anguish had I have accepted they were nothing but bullies and perpetrators of abuse and I was their victim. While my past was shaped by years of bullying at school, followed by eleven years of domestic violence, I am now free of abuse and of the belief that it was somehow my fault.
So many years were robbed from me yet I refuse to allow my past to ruin my future happiness. What others say about you has no reflection upon the person you are, only you have to be able to look into the mirror and be happy with the person you see staring back at you.
I was attacked as a child by bullies, I was attacked by my husband during an abusive marriage and still to this day I see and hear of grown woman attacking each other.
What is wrong with some people?
I have been subjected to online bullying, a few years ago now a number of other bloggers harassed and tried their hardest to intimidate me enough to stop me blogging. Lies and accusations were thrown in my direction and when I refused to back down and I carried on blogging while ignoring them, they finally got bored and moved onto another target.
It was questioned whether I was mentally stable?
Could someone with Bipolar really have 6 kids?
Could a mentally ill woman really blog?
Did I even have a mental illness?
I wanted to defend myself, I know many believed the false allegations, I became the black sheep of the mummy blogging community and suppose I still feel that way, afraid to become involved in blogging circles or attend events.
But I knew that I could not allow them to affect me personally, I was blogging to save my life in essence, writing helped me so much, it was a great release for me.
Owning a Facebook group for hundreds of mothers has its moments too, some are too quick to jump on the bandwagon, finding it easy to judge others based upon someone else’s gossip. I much prefer to make up my own mind based upon facts and how that person treats me.
Thankfully I had dealt with much worse and I was able to accept that those behind the keyboard were not worthy of my time or tears.
I have learned the hard way that what others say about you can hurt and can have a detrimental effect upon on your life and future if you let it, it really is up to you how you react to it.
No matter how difficult or hurtful what others say about us is, it is their flaws that are showing not ours.
Are you too quick to judge others?
Do you care what others think of you?
How do you react when someone says or does something to hurt you?
We can not control what others say or do to us, but we can control how we react and let it affect our lives.